It can be quite annoying and even upsetting when you encounter people who might criticize your trade idea, especially when you didn’t necessarily do anything at all to deserve their unwanted trading advice.
It’s can become easy to switch negative thinking or self doubting, like, “What did I do so wrong to deserve this?" or “What a self righteous fool!” But that’s an easy reaction and a quick route to self destruction. If you want a better way to deal with these types of people, put some time aside to use these following 5 tips.
Why would I write about such a topic if I'm trying to help you with your own trading? Because I have been on the receiving end and it can be quite a challenge - demoralising even. It is true that your trade analysis may not be spot on but sometimes a little guidance can help point you in the right direction. Unfortunately, some people skills are lacking from those who are "trying to help".
Remember, you can have the trend line any colour you like on Trading View - as long as you have your own reason for doing it! (I say that because we used to joke about what colour the trend line should be!!)
Okay so let's get in to these 5 tips:
When you encounter a challenging individual, try to put yourself in their shoes. They may well be trying to help but might be mocking you as their people skills need development.
Instead of judging the individual, take time to listen to them. We often say in trading that "Patience Pays", so if you’re patient enough, listen to their issues after they have finished challenging you. If you’re not, then listen to what others may have to say. Ask questions to obtain guidance in a structured manner rather than "abuse".
The whole idea is to make sure that you don’t react impulsively on a negative level. Once you have a better understanding of where they’re coming from, you probably won’t feel so upset about them.
If you have worked in a "Customer Service" environment, you will most likely have experienced rude and difficult customers. It can be quite difficult to handle rude people all the time.
Over the years, I have learnt that some people are just difficult - plain and simple.
I tend to treat people how I would like to be treated and no matter what their issue is, I will handle them with professional courtesy in a polite manner. Not because I bow down to their superiority but because I will be the bigger person. Now, I also understand that on occasion the initial experience has not been what they had expected or paid for and that needs resolving but if it is just rudeness - that is a different story. With that in mind, find that one solution to deal with them.
You could go from thinking, “This person is so annoying! I wish I could punch them” to “This is just another difficult person. I’ll do my best the only way I can anyway.” And then learn from the experience.
It is common for many people to react negatively to a difficult person, which can lead to harsh words or even escalate to physical abuse.
Try being quiet.
You're not giving in to the other person (although it might seem like it), but the idea here is to be the bigger person. The difficult one is long gone and far from being the bigger person.
This suggestion may sound like the polar opposite and maybe even hard to carry out - but who said being the bigger person is easy?
You're in control. People will respect you more. You’ll also grow as person as you will know that you now will be able to go through difficult times without causing any "headaches".
The last thing you want to happen is to change for anyone else. Just head out there and lead your own life, showing others how awesome and capable you are. To respond negatively and therefore becoming difficult yourself is an easy and perhaps not very well thought out option. I'm fairly confident you wouldn't want that.
Continue with your own positive journey. How has this situation improved your life rather than how can you issue a revenge campaign.
Difficult people are just that... difficult - and you can't change them, but your life shouldn’t be affected because of them. Your life is your own.
Two options / choices here.
Sometimes, you should call an end to the relationship with a challenging individual because you should be in a positive environment. Being around a "Negative Nigel" doesn’t do you any favours and a "Positive Pete" can improve your life.
If you have the power to, you should change your environment to avoid the negativity.
Secondly, sometimes ending the relationship is better for both you and the "Negative Nigel".
Some people never learn if you continue to fuel their ability to be negative.
I believe it was Sting who referred in a song to "Set them free" and by doing so, you'll be freeing yourself.